In the Interest of Fairness
D, knowing full well that I wear my heart on my sleeve in this blog, read my last post and had a few points to make. Because she did not want to get herself a blogger ID, thinking that I wouldn't allow her comments to pass through, plus the fact that I no longer allow anonymous comment, I thought I'd share a few of her more pertinent responses.

First of all, I cannot agree with NH's characterization of D as a hypocritical child/bitch. While her choices of late have me greatly angered, I actually still love her a lot. She may be young and confused and waffling, but I've never really known her to be malicious or childish.

Second, D claims to have known that I DID have the option of obtaining insurance coverage prior to my enrollment period. I believe her, based on her professional experience in payroll and benefits.

Third, D states that she pushed her job search ahead as a result of perceived threats by me to exercise my option to send the house into foreclosure and leave her with no place to go in the immediate aftermath of me signing the divorce papers. I have no recollection of making such threats, but do recall stating my intention to explore my options in the face of my own uncertainty about what exactly she was going to do. Certainly, I was in no mood to put up with any shit from her or her kids, knowing that they would soon be out of the picture anyway.

Fourth, D claims to not have thought about the diminishing threat on the foreclosure front when making and presenting her decision to stop making contributing payments. That I have a bit more trouble believing, considering how big of a factor it was in her prior decisions. However, realizations like that often come in a less-than-conscious way, and D definitely has locked into a perception that my financial situation is not as bad as it was when she made the commitment of a monthly payment.

Lastly, D made a fairly big deal about not getting any benefit out of the payments, since she was no longer living there, making comments about paying for heat and water she doesn't use and not getting any tax benefits from our mortgage payments. Of course, I was thinking that the likely benefits to her were more long term, such as a place to come back to that will be better than when she left it, considering the time we'd spent together since she left and the purported agreement we seemed to have regarding our true marital status in the eyes of God.

None of these arguments really changes my opinion or position regarding what has been taking place between us these past few weeks. In fact, it has only serve to crystallize my belief that despite her acknowledged realizations, desires, and verbal commitments, D's real commitment is to herself and avoiding the real issues and challenges that prevent her from finding the happiness she claims to want.

But I thought that it was only fair to present her point-of-view as best as I could.
- posted by The Drake @ 9:08 AM