Rainy Tuesday in the Beaver Valley
Today is a day of somber reflection. I've stayed home from work to observe a ritual I have when a relationship ends. I clean my space, start to think how I'm going to use the space that's just been vacated, get high, listen to U2 and cry.

This need for an impromptu mental health day began during the Steelers game last night. I will say that I didn't mind so much losing to Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning. They are just the kind of people professional sports needs to do well.

Besides, Tony started here in the 'Burgh, making him one of us.

Bill Cowher, however, continues to disappoint me with his rash, ill-advised play calling. The pathetic attempt at an onsides kick to start the second half is just the latest evidence of his continuing inability to win the biggest games. The defense was very effective in keeping Indy off the field, but needing a long field in which to lose a few battles while winning the war. Putting such an explosive offense on our own 40 after the defense had to suffer giving up points at the end of the first half because of Big Ben's turnover was just plain stupid.

Speaking of Roethlisberger, he's not right. He needs more time to heal and get his feet under him. The last thing we need is for Cowher to permanently transform him into a pocket passer because the kid is trying to 'man up' for this lisping hardass. Get an experienced quarterback into town, Bill. Ben's not ready, and you got no one else. We need a semi-mobile game manager. Stop thinking about the running game as a "line-up-and-ram-it-down-their-throats" proposition. Get Parker, Staley and the Bus into space. Throw to Kreider and the tight ends, for shit's sake. Then wait for your opportunity to hurt 'em downfield. 5 yards is 5 yards, dude. Two yards a carry isn't going to cut, and is going to get your quarterback killed.

Sheesh! Tough guys. You can't teach them anything.

I hope that doesn't hold true for me as well, but ya gotta wonder. One of my brothers at church once told me that if you continue to have problems getting along with people, maybe the problem is you. Certainly true in my case. I've been an arrogant, pompous, demanding ass.

But there is more to me than that when I keep my thoughts on what Jesus has taught me and given me. It's amazing how quickly I turn to complaining and criticizing, considering how good my life really is in the grand scheme of things.

I've decided to open my house to host a weekly Bible study. I think I want to encourage people to get on a read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year program, but first I want to bring people into my home, and celebrate the Advent season by going through the Gospel of Luke. I'm feeling very liturgical right now, and I have come to see the value in following a Calender of Remembrance to keep the really important things in sight throughout the seasons of the year.

So I begin a time of being alone -- again. It's really not so bad, except for the missing out on sex part. But I guess it's high time I learned how to deal with that. It's certainly not been worth it to make it such a high priority.

Instead, I am going to work on my house. There are so many things that I want to do, but I think I am going to work on getting the sun room set up to have room to sit and chat, grow plants. I am going to probably cut a hole in the wall to connect the breakfast nook to a lunch counter in the sunroom. The major priority here is to create a place where a half dozen people can interact without violating personal space. I'm pretty excited about how it help create an environment of relationship, especially for my kids.

I'm done crying for now, although these last few days have been hard to endure.

Time to man up, bro.
- posted by The Drake @ 2:59 PM