3.09.2005
Death Watch
One thing that I've learned in my struggles to become a better person is that real and lasting change is about re-drawing lines that you will not cross. Those lines are established, at least in my life, by becoming convinced that the price of crossing them is simply not worth it.
We in the evangelical community often speak of conviction, but I often wonder if that term carries the appropriate amount of weight in our conversation that it should. As I understand the term, it encompasses both the judicial and moral definitions. If I am spiritually convicted of the rightness of something, I usually am both feeling the remorse of being guilty of not having complied with that rightness, as well as utterly convinced of its rightness and that the consequences of my non-compliance were not worth it.
Most of us come into adulthood with some of these lines already drawn, but have you ever wondered what it is that keeps you from crossing them? For instance, I have never murdered anyone or hit a woman. To even contemplate such actions horrifies me. Why? Because I have experience enough of the consequences of such actions -- or similar actions -- on others that I am repulsed by the mere thought. Now I've never seen anyone killed, but I have witness the death of various animals and seen their suffering and the suffering of people who cared about those animals. My father never hit my mother, either, but he did physically manhandle her on occasion to such an extent that the violence in his actions traumatized me as I watched helplessly.
As an adult, I've found that the only means by which I've been able to draw in my lines of conduct has been through a painful process where I fully recognize the pain and suffering my actions have caused. One of the major reasons my second marriage ended was my insistence on calling my wife vile names, particularly the c*** word, during our many fights. Being forced to recount those incidents in an abuse group for men caused me to feel the full revulsion of the evil of my deeds. It was too late for the marriage, but I can assure there are a few misogynistic words that are no longer a part of my vocabulary. No matter how angry I may get at D. when we are disagreeing, I have never resorted to that tactic.
Working Steps 4 and 5 in my recovery group are having a similar effect on me. I am forcing myself to not just gloss over a wound I've inflicted by saying, "God forgive me for losing my temper." No. I believe it's important to relive and recall every word or action and remember or consider the hurt it caused another. Then I can grieve my idiocy and truly repent. Nor is it just enough to ask God for forgiveness. We are called to make amends. This is another aspect of the process that helps me get that line drawn firmly. After D. busted me using Internet porn a couple of months ago, I had to face her and see the pain and humiliation and anger in her face. I had to endure the tears, and I had no excuses or rationalizations to hide behind.
This is why the Steps work. To really follow them, you have to truly face what is wrong in your life and the consequences of what you've done.
By contrast, the culture around us seems to be re-drawing the lines further out. On March 18, Michael Schiavo may just get his wish to be allowed to murder his wife, Terry. The appalling nature of this looming crime is almost beyond my comprehension. This selfish bastard has been pushing for 12 years to force the medical community to watch a person, who is by all appearances conscious and able to maintain every life function except eating, to remove her feeding tube and watch her slowly starve to death.
Why would anyone want to do this to another human being? It's incomprehensible. Of course, this evil man hides behind the excuse that he believes that she would have wanted it this way. Of course, no one can confirm that, seeing as she did not have a Living Will stating that. Medical experts are debating back and forth over the her state of consciousness, but if there is even the smallest of doubts, who can justify taking the risk of forcing a helpless person to suffer such a death, which might take up to two weeks.
Of course, Michael Schiavo won't be there. He's long since moved on with his life, getting his needs met with other women and spending the money gained in malpractice awards at the expense of his wife's most basic medical needs.
If Michael Schiavo and Judge Greer want Terri to die so much, why don't we let them kill her. After all this shouldn't be much of a problem for Mr. Schiavo, considering the mounting evidence that the 6"6' 250 lb. coward is responsible for the multiple, unexplained fractures found in her body during by doctors shortly after the 1990 collapse in her home.
Only this time let it be done in front of the world. Give him a gun and a legal guarantee of immunity from prosecution and make him do his dirty work himself. Put a camera on him as he walks into the room where his still conscious wife lies, looks her directly in the eyes and blows her still functioning brain against the wall. After all isn't that a more 'loving' thing to do than to allow the woman you claim to love so much suffer a slow death? We treat farm animals better than Mr. Schiavo wants to treat his wife.
Make this beast watch the natural consequences of his self-centered mission to take this life. Would he have the guts? I doubt it. But it would be the merciful thing to do -- to give him an opportunity to re-draw his lines. I doubt this fool realizes that he is probably the most hated and ostracized man who is not in prison since O.J. He will once he gets his way.
I also wonder what the liberal screamers who have spent so much energy decrying the torture of our enemies in the war on terror have to say about this. Not much I suspect. But isn't this among the cruelest forms of torture -- to deny a living, breathing human being food and water and watch them slowly suffer and die?
I guess it's a little different when the victim poses no threat. So much for the liberal claim to defend the weak and helpless. Here is someone who has no voice, where is the ACLU?
Just another example of how liberal values are in the process of turning the greatest, most free nation in the world into a living hell.
- posted by The Drake @ 12:36 PM
