The Drake Musing
2.25.2005
 
Welcome to The Occupation
I am starting to get a feeling what it must be like for the Iraqis. For the second time in less than a year, I am working in an IT department that is being besieged by a sudden influx of Indian-born consultants who are here to transfer knowledge of what is done here to the shores of their motherland.

Politics aside, this temporary state of imposed multi-culturalism raises more than a few hackles and creates a fairly depressing work environment.

Although I am not personally affected to a great extent by this Hindu invasion, it really does feel like a foreign occupation. Granted, the allusion to Iraq is a bit overstated. There are no smoldering wrecks of cubicles caused by tank rounds into suspected nests of 'tecno-insurgents', nor are we experiencing the loss of basic necessities like electricity and running water. But there is an invaded feel.

Besides the loss of dozens of jobs, there is the looming specter of having to rely on the tenuous (at best) understanding of people half a world away who understand English little -- and American business less -- to get things done. The whole thing is really causing me to reconsider my whole career path. Oh well, at least they won't be here anymore.

The biggest issues I have with these guys at the moment is that they don't seem to understand basic interpersonal courtesies. The concept of personal space, for instance, seems to be completely alien to them. I guess that's a natural consequence of being born and raised in a country where the population density is about 800 times what it is here. Still, that's no excuse for someone just walking into my cube, reaching over my shoulder while I'm on the phone, grabbing my mouse and proceeding to 'show' me something they think is critically important.

OK Haji, step back from the Drake! If I can touch you with my outstretched arm and smell the curry on your breath, you are in my personal bubble. Not good! Moreover, if I am on the phone, come back later. Send an email! Make a phone call! Don't just start talking in my ear. It may not seem like it to you, but I may be involved in an important conversation with someone who has the power to revoke your H1B visa. And NEVER, EVER TOUCH MY MOUSE!!! It's a common practice here in the cubicle world of corporate America to stand OUTSIDE the cube until invited in. I personally knock on top on the cube wall to alert the occupant to my presence. Maybe it's just an American thing. I don't know. But I was raised to be considerate of other people's space, and I think it's a good thing.

Then there are the phone conversations. I have six-foot high cube walls, and if I can hear you talking on the phone several cubes over, you are talking too loud! I can only imagine the discomfort of the poor schmuck on the other end of the phone! Again, I imagine that striving to be heard in a country of over a billion people necessitates some loud talking, but you are in America now. We only yell at the TV during football games. Oh wait, that's just me. :)

Finally, there is the issue of understanding. You were sent here to take jobs away from my friends, neighbors, fellow countrymen and, quite possibly, myself. Nobody really wants to talk to you, but economics and professionalism insist that we must tell you what we know. However, it would behoove you to get it on the first try. Don't just sit there nodding your head and saying, "Yes, yes," if you don't understand what I'm saying. I personally figure that if the company that lured my employer into selling these jobs overseas can't ensure that you are competent and able to understand conversational English and American cultural idioms, that's there problem. My comrades and I have spent years of our adult lives studying and working to become productive professionals in the IT field. We are good, and if you can't cut it, that only serves to validate us. Yet there seems to be a sense of superiority coming across incongruously with your inability to perform -- or even understand -- the most basic day-to-day tasks that we could do in our sleep.

Good luck with your new jobs. I, for one, will be here ready to remind the morons who signed this stupid deal that, in this world, you get what you pay for.

Oh, and by the way, I ate steak for dinner last night.

Comments:
Take from my example of our previous employment... Slang can be a source of never ending entertainment.

Southern accents are also a blast.

So is "Killer Yinzer".

"Furst yinz gah dahn 'ere n'at whilst yinz git dat dere data el'ment, slap it t'gedder wit dat mo-fo, n'en yinz git whatcher want'n faster den Donny grubs a ham samwich!"

Then laugh to yourself while they say "yes yes yes yes yes", then go back to their cube with a perplexed look on their faces.
 
You're terrible, you know that? I've been lurking for a while and am increasingly put off by your self-righteousness. You claim to be a God-fearing man, seeking the love and mercy of God, but then you write crap like this. Show mercy to these people - you've been shown mercy upon mercy. Might I suggest that you step back and read your posts with a critical eye before you actually post them? You come off as pompous and self-agrandizing.
 
Anon: You've obviously never lost a job to these arrogant, disdainful, and unqualified people. I've met very few that had an empathic bone in their bodies. They have a very cavalier attitude about taking one's livelyhood, and they treat you like dirt as you have to train them to do your job. They are almost as reprehensible as the corporate bastards who send these jobs overseas in order to make their stock prices go up two cents.

It is very easy to heckle from the sidelines. I'd like to see how you would react to the professional equivalent of not only being beaten in a game, but then having the victor wrap his jockstrap around your face!
 
Anonymous,

After re-reading this post, there are a few word choices I regret. However, this is a blog, not a website devoted to evangelism. This is a place where I throw it all out there to see what sticks to the wall.

While I appreciate your feedback, you need to understand that there is a dramatic difference between the way I express myself here and in my day-to-day life. Some of my posts are very confessional, but this was simply a rant. A way of actually finding some humor in a situation that is very frustrating and somewhat depressing.

As for your comments regarding my being self-righteous, pompous and self-aggrandizing, you've got me there. Guilty! Sometimes. At other times, I am self-absorbed and morbid. Yet others I am penitent and humble as I wrestle with my numerous sins and flaws. And sometimes I am angry and sullen.

This blog is my therapy. I don't care what others think of me. I firmly believe that my honesty in thought and feeling has a redemptive quality. God does amazing things when I am honest with myself and Him.

Better this and healing than denial and playing the 'good little Christian' game.
 
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