Faith and Anger
I've not had a good day. It started with Maddie, the Shih Tzu puppy, taking a dump on the carpet in my home office this morning as i was getting dressed. I swear she is the inventor of speed-shitting. I turned my back on her to pull a shirt out of the closet, whirled back around on her, and she was just coming out of her squat. Couldn't have been more than 10 seconds.
Then i spent the drive into Pittsburgh (about an hour) dodging morons while trying to pray for God to heal my angry spirit. Not a huge success, either.
Faith and anger. Strange bedfellows, they are.
I've spent over half the day figuring out why my new programs won't work, only to find that the infrastructure wasn't set up correctly for me. Tech stuff. You don't want to know.
So shortly after lunch, i just gave up and started cruising Blogger. First, i checked in with the Unseen Blogger and Citizen Willow to see if they had anything new to say, then just started clicking the 'Next Blog' link. After about an hour of that, content patterns began to emerge. About 25% of the sites were in Spanish, so i don't really know what they were about - not speaking Spanish. But the remaining 75% of what i clicked were divided pretty evenly into 3 main camps: 1) vapid teenagers posting incoherent ramblings that loosely resemble the English language and must be HUGELY funny to their little friends; 2) political postings - the left usually has more variety (prettier packaging), and the right has a lot more verbage; and 3) Christians of all ages, genders and theological background.
I find it somewhat comforting that so many people are willing and able to put together coherent thoughts about the King of the Universe - whether i always agree with those thoughts or not. I don't know whether my browsing is a valid statistical sampling method, but this experience and the swirl surrounding the 'Values Voters' in the recent election makes me believe that there are a heck of a lot of people in this country who believe in the One, True God and the Good News of Jesus. Of course, daring to make a statement like that in our PC culture is a good way to get your tires slashed (or your throat cut).
Faith and anger. Seems like they go hand-in-hand.
But only when the come from different sources. How is it that I can comfortably affirm my belief in Jesus, but spend an entire day (hell, the whole week) encased in white-hot anger? How is it that I can pray to Jesus and cuss the living daylights out of the cutest little puppy in the world? Or the mentally deficient granny who's doing 30 in the passing lane? Or the inanimate object that is my work PC? It's insane.
Sigh. What is faith? In my case, it's believing that Jesus died for me, despite the fact that i'm quite the slow learner. And that God still loves me, even though i'm a raging asshole.
It's getting up every day and clinging to those beliefs and hoping some day these insignificant inconveniences won't send me into apoplexy.
Someday.
- posted by The Drake @ 5:05 PM
1) Your sampling of bloggers is probably not a good representation of humanity at large. It's a sampling of bloggers, which I think makes up a small percentage. First of all, you can weed out all of those with no computer, and go from there. You see what I mean.
2) I like to think of faith, faith in anything, whether it be God or the structural integrity of that bridge over which you are driving, like this: It is living as if you are absolutely certain of the truth of something, even though you are given reasons to doubt. Faith is a choice. That's my simplistic and somewhat Kierkegaardian view, for what it is worth.
Oh, and
3) I'm freaked out that we both seem to have made a career out of boiling anger, and both have dogs named Maddie. Cue slidewhistle-esque creepy music.
BTW, i see myself as a combination of all 3 of the above-mentioned categories. i tend to do most of my blogging at work, however, because i just don't have enough work to do to keep my mind from wandering. one of the downsides of being employed as a consultant. that, and the fact that i have to worry every 3-6 months about becoming unemployed. i don't have much of life, either, but there is enough minut1ae to keep me otherwise occupied.
so you have a dog named Maddie? what kind? short for anything? mine is for Madeline. was supposed to be Madison, but i find that name too much in favor with the pretentious, vapid, bourgeois crowd. and i can't allow myself to be associated with them.
Also focus on some of the positives. Like the fact that you have an excellent professional reputation here in 'Da Burgh. If your contract does run out, I really don't think you will have any problems finding a new place of employment in a timely manner. Things are getting better out there, as I've been told by those in the know. What else... The Republicans won the elections and it is KILLING the left! Funny stuff! Da Stillers are doing well. Plus you've made new e-friends through your blogging.
And just expect other drivers to be idiots. That way you won't be disappointed, only pleasantly surprised when someone isn't a complete butt-head.
Sorry, I don't mean to sound preachy.
As for blogging, I think I do it because it gives me an outlet to say things I can't say to people that are TOO close to me. Nobody in the fam knows about the blog, and I like it that way. Also, I find it an excellent tool for promoting procrastination.
<< Home
